1. READ YOUR FANTASY ALOUD
If you're one who likes to read in bed at night, make sure it's something raunchy, preferably a book of short stories. Your partner will probably ask what you're reading when they see the cover. When they do, say "OMG I just read the hottest story! Can I read it to you?/You should read it!" Either read it aloud to them or have them read it privately. It should give them a very good idea of what is currently turning you on and give you the opportunity to talk openly.
Our fave erotica
2. LEAVE LITERATURE AROUND
Maybe you'd like to try rope play, a threesome, a sex toy or tantra. Buy a book on the subject and leave it around. Remember when you were a kid and needed to leave hints around the house so your parents would buy you that new Barbie? Hint hint....
Have you filled out the 'Come As You Are Workbook'? It's a brilliant conversation starter and helps you figure out what gets your heart racing and what doesn't.
3. BEGIN WITH 'I FEEL BAD THAT...'
Maybe you haven't had sex for a while and whether it's because you haven't wanted to or your partner hasn't, start the conversation as though it's you - not them. For example, "Sorry if I haven't been the lover you deserve lately. You're so desirable and gorgeous but I've been so distracted....can I make it up to you?" "I so want to....." and see how the conversation flows!
4. TEXT...'DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN I...? / 'I LOVE IT WHEN YOU...'
Texting is the best aphrodisiac in the world! Start with something adorable like "I'm dreaming of your luscious lips" and inch your way toward "I'm counting the minutes 'til I can ravage your hot, wet pussy" - or whatever.
5. 'I'VE BEEN SO HORNY LATELY...' / 'GAME OF THRONES - THAT SCENE....
Use porn/Game of Thrones/Fifty Shades to open the door to very satisfying sex. Get netflix, borrow it from the library, see it at the movies or download it. STAN have a great adult movie section and SBS on demand also have an excellent erotic film selection.
Afterwards, have a drink together and casually reveal your favourite scene. Even if you hated the movie, casually mention that even though you didn't really enjoy it all, you loved that part where he tied her up and dripped hot candle wax all over her body. Hint hint!!
One More Thing...
Recent research suggests that taking up a hobby together, such as joining a cooking/dancing/philosophy club is VERY conducive to better sex.
If you have any of your own suggestions, please leave a comment. Good luck!
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