What is the Prostate and what does it do?
Generally, people assigned male at birth have a prostate. The prostate is a gland and it's job is to make semen, this is the fluid that transports sperm out of the penis as ejaculate. There's some more diagrams of prostate location and positions to help find it at Oh Joy Sex Toy (the pictures are a tad explicit #NSFW but in jazzy cartoon format!)
Where is the Prostate located?
It's located inside the rectum about 2-3 inches. The easiest way to 'say hello' to it for the first time is with a gloved hand (we love black, nitrile gloves), a lot of lube and slow stroking motions (stroke it, don't poke it!). It is about the size of a walnut but until fully engorged from uber-arousal it will feel more like a kidney bean.
What does prostate massage feel like?
"A lot of men who we've talked to [in our research] have said that, when they experienced prostate massage for the first time, it felt like the beginning of an orgasm," Glickman told me. "So imagine the beginning of an orgasm, but lasting for 20 minutes. Pretty fun, huh?"
Why can rubbing the prostate feel pleasurable?
Many refer to the Prostate as 'the male G-Spot'. This is because it is believed to be made of the same erogenous, lovely G-Spot stuff but just positioned differently. Remember, we all have the same genital parts regardless of gender, they're just in a different position. Prostate-pleasurers often report they are capable of having waves of multiple orgasms through prostate stimulation.
Is prostate massage good for your health?
There are believed to be fun health benefits attached. Orgasm through the prostate may protect against prostatitis, this is a pre-cursor to prostate cancer. Stronger, more frequent orgasms can also buffer against mental health issues [ref. 1].
There are also anecdotal empathy effects from the act of receiving and giving internal prostate pleasure. Sex educator Charlie Glickman argues this one in his essay "How pegging can help save the world" If you are used to penetrating your lovers rather than being penetrated yourself, you get to experience life on the other side!
Protect your long-term health, have multiple orgasms and be a better lover... are you sold? Then let's get down to the How-tos.
How do I find it and show it a good time?
Prostate Pleasure Play! (Level 1 - Level 4).
Level 1 - First put a towel (or for the connoisseurs, a Liberator Throe) down, assume the position on your back with legs apart. Put a glove on, lubricate, then warm up with circles around the outside and a little inside if comfortable. Talk through how it feels if you're doing this with a partner.
Level 2 - With a lubricated glove on, ease finger inside. Rock back and forth around the prostate (come-hither stroking motion rather than thrusting). Talk through how it feels.
Level 3 - Use a toy designed for prostate play in the same come-hither motion. Make sure it's clean and use plenty of water-based lubricant. Have a partner use it on you or use it yourself. Vibration increases blood flow and sensation, this can result in a stronger orgasm. However you might not enjoy the feeling of vibration, everyone is different, so start slow on a low speed.
Level 4 - While you're blissing out on what's happening around the back, you might lose firmness in the front. This has less to do with your level of arousal and more to do with your pleasure being centred elsewhere. Sometimes the massaging of the prostate is so intensely pleasurable that prostatic fluid emerges from the urethra, sometimes called 'milking' and you may ejaculate without an erection. Click here to watch a short video.
[ref 1] Brody, Stuart. (2010) “The relative health benefits of different sexual activities.” The journal of sexual medicine 1336-1361.