** We are giving away a free pair of black latex gloves with every purchase from the arse-nal only this Butt Week!**
We've thrown a lot of top tush tips at you. But to get to the action you first need to have the conversation.
We have asked Kate McCombs, sexual communication expert, to answer three frequently ARSED questions (yes if you haven't noticed by now, we think our puns are great) :
"I love anal sex and really want to do it with my new boyfriend but he's not keen on the idea, what should I do?"
Anal toys, like butt plugs, are a fantastic gateway drug for butt stuff (see: The Arsenal
). Often people's resistance to anal play stems from an unfamiliarity with the anal area and shame around poo potential. With a butt plug, you just lube it up and leave it in while you do other sex stuff. It can give both partners a chance to explore the pleasure potential of anal play with very little chance of contact with poo.
While it's good to expand your partner's horizons when they're open to it, it's also important to respect their boundaries. If anal is a hard limit for him, you've got to respect that and come to terms with anal not being a thing you do in your partnered sex life.
"I'm intrigued by the idea of ass play but isn't that... gay?"
Nerve endings don't make you gay. The anus has the highest concentration of nerve endings anywhere on the body except the genitals and those can feel good to play with. What makes someone "gay" or not has to do with whom they want stimulating those nerve endings.
"My partner really wants me to perform prostate massage on him but I am so nervous about doing it wrong so I've been avoiding the topic, what do I say to him?"
No one is born an expert on all things sexual. Part of gaining mastery is admitting when there's a skill set you want to build. You might admit to him that you're a little nervous, but that you're very keen to learn how to do it well. Being a keen learner is super hot.
It can also be helpful to do a little research beforehand about how to do a prostate massage (be gentle at first, use lots of lube, trim your nails beforehand, etc.). That way, you have some knowledge of how things work and you can add his feedback to the knowledge you've already gained on your own.
Questions were answered by Sexual Communication Superhero, Kate McCombs. She is giving a workshop on sexual communication on Monday in Melbourne CBD and get her free guide for 10 sexual communication tips on her website!
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Blog pic by The Naughty Notary