Spoiler alert. When sex makes an appearance in popular culture, the questions in-store start flowing immediately. “Do you have the toy that was in ‘How to Please a Woman?’”or “I saw this thing in a movie and it was pink and curved and it had a remote”. While valid, these questions could lead to 50 different types of toys or – worse – I might not have seen the film yet. So, when ‘How to Build a Sex Room’ came out on Netflix, I knew it was something I needed to watch, professionally, if not simply to save the regular rounds of Guess Who: Sex Toy edition.



So many sex toys, so little air-time.


For me, these shows offer a great segue into opening the hearts and minds of new audiences to the wonderful world of sex wares. So instantly, I was impressed with the kinds of toys I spotted. Think, Njoys and Rosebuds within the first 10 minutes. But, as the episode progressed, I noticed that these toys were not getting nearly enough attention as they deserved. It’s important that when you’re presenting extremes within sex wares, that these extremes are appropriately explained. For example, a St. Andrews Cross and a Sybian isn't for everyone, a sweet little Starsi and Le Wand definitely hit the spot. 


My sadness was compounded when the toys that were picked were great choices for their dynamic, and definitely had a lot of thought go into them, but weren’t elaborated on. I'm sure these supporting segments were filmed and ended up on the editing room floor, which is why the show falls short of the educational experience it could have been. Instead, ‘How to Build a Sex Room’ is more of a ‘tourism into the BDSM world’ program, promoting things that are extremely expensive and inaccessible to many.


So, consider me your sex toy guide, I'm going to walk you through what I spotted, fill in the gaps and hopefully avoid too many spoilers.


Ajay and Taylore from How to build a sex room

Sex Room 1: Ajay & Taylor 


The first room reveal belongs to Ajay and Taylor, a heterosexual couple into both anal impact play. During this reveal, I spotted the We-Vibe Wand (sadly discontinued), and a large Rosebud. Impact is all about sensation, light-to-hard, whatever your heart desires, and a wand is a great way to deliver intense stimulation and pressure.
If you can’t find any more We-Vibe Wands, you could try the Doxy Wands instead. Great for pressure and power. The Rosebud is also a fab choice for impact play as the heaviness is always stimulating and noticeable. This toy delivers a slight resonance with a bit of impact on the backside. However, if you fancy spanking and butt plugs, I would recommend the Snug Plug for weight designed for good impact play.

Raj and Ryan from How to build a sex room

Sex Room 2: Raj & Ryan


Toys weren’t a huge thing for the soft and sensual, Raj and Ryan. Instead, this couple were more into a light sensation, romantic type of play. The products I’d spotted during this episode include the We-Vibe Chorus, Womanizer Premium 2, Sliquid Naturals Sea Water Based Lubricant, and Kama Sutra Massage Candles

The Chorus is the newest We-Vibe couple design, which has been revamped several times and now features a pressure-play remote. The toy is wearable for some and includes two motors, one internal and one external. The idea is that you can solo play, use the Chorus during penetration, and also engage in voyeur play with a remote that allows your partner to control the toy a distance. The Chorus is a great choice because it invites a toy into the partner dynamic, without altering what usually happens; only increasing the pleasure. 


Sliquid Lubricant is featured throughout the series, but you could sadly never see the label. Sliquid Naturals Sea Water Based was the lubricant of choice during this episode; a great, healthy lube for all occasions and caters well for vaginal play. 

The Womanizer Premium 2 is another top choice in the toy department, delivering light, soft sensations, for those who love oral stimulation. Lastly, the Kama Sutra Candles. This range fits in perfectly with the kind of soft sensation play that this couple enjoys. The beautifully scented candles are made of almond and coconut oil, so they melt fast. Light them up, let them melt, and incorporate them into your sensual massage. A pretty beautiful experience if I don't say so myself.


Hannah and Wesley from How to build a sex room

Sex Room 3: Hannah & Wesley


This episode placed a big focus on height difference, so a chaise lounge was brought in as well as rope play. As for toys, I spotted a Le Wand in black. This wand was a sensible choice, as it features a helpful long handle; perfect for taller partners looking to access hard-to-reach areas. The wand is also a great companion for rope and restraint play, offering sensation and stimuli. There was a trio of glass anal training plugs included in this episode, which could be a number of products as they are generally sold under different names. While we don’t currently offer this product, we recommend the b-Vibe Anal Training Set as a suitable alternative. 


Orlando and Matthew from How to build a sex room

Sex Room 4: Orlando & Matthew

This long-distance queer couple had a little media focus to their room with a BDSM vibe. At the start, they confirmed that they had a lot of toys; pumps, clamps, dildos and jockstraps, So, I was interested to see what toys Melanie picked. Right away, I spotted the Fun Factory Manta, which was a huge ‘yes’ from me. The Manta is a great toy for those with a penis. It can be used solo, with a partner, even if that person has ED or other erectile issues. So perfect for some light bondage play. Also, Fun Factory is a huge ally to the queer community and have been before it was cool.


In the couple’s little cabinet, I spotted some great pieces for beginner’s BDSM including: blindfolds, bondage tape, Wartenberg wheels, ball gags, paddles, short floggers, tweezer nipple clamps and pegs. Personally, I would have added a few other toys to that mix including the We-Vibe Verge, a great testicle ring that stimulates the perineum, and the We-Vibe Vector, a prostate and perineum plug that stimulates both and can be operated long distance.


Shenika and Matthew from How to build a sex room

Sex Room 5: Shenika and Matthew


Shenika and Matthew were portrayed as the novice couple whose sex life was lacking. In short, Shenika hadn't experienced an orgasm. The couple take a trip to a sex shop called 'Awakening'. While I won't list off everything in that shop scene (this blog would be much, much longer), if you did spot something in the background that you’d like to learn more about, we would have it within our collection. 


The first toy was the Petite Le Wand Rechargeable Massager in Rose Gold. Now, I wouldn't recommend this for a beginner. Don't get me wrong, some would love it, but there would be plenty of people that would find this toy way too intense and too bulky to use with another person. Usually, for beginners, I would recommend something versatile (not cumbersome) for exploration, like a simple internal wand that has a motorised tip for internal and external stimulation. 


The next toy was a large Le Wand Rechargeable Massager with a Textured Cap Attachment sleeve for a penis. I love the little hats you can put on a Le Wand as it will offer different kinds of contact and uses. The penis cap is perfect for those of any penis function so if you have ED or other erectile issues, this is a perfect way to include body contact and intimacy that you can both enjoy. And if everything is in working order, the same goes. Remember it isn't always about penetration, but the toy itself. If a toy is large, for some the weight can be fatiguing and too much to hold. But, this wand is an educated choice in this instance, as the couple hasn't got other toys and this product offers a new way to have sex that isn't penetrative but still feels intimate.


The next toy was the We-Vibe Melt, a suction vibrator. This is more of a solo play toy when in use, but it can be used together, with some gymnastics. However, it does have the classic We-Vibe app function where you can control the toy from afar. For this couple, trying something new is another great choice that centres toys in the experience and focuses on her orgasm, but still includes her partner in the play.


Then, the program showed the Fun Factory Bi-Stronic Fusion, an interesting choice and not one I would recommend to someone in this dynamic. This is a solo toy that can be very difficult to use with a partner unless they are into voyeurism. I always describe the Bi Stronic as the main event, not the toy you pull out for a quick maz. You need to work up to it, romance yourself, get out the lube and really want it. 


Socially, rabbit vibrators are kind of what sells and have been marketed to people pretty successfully. The number of times I've asked people in-store how they're using their rabbits and get told that they only use it externally 70% the time will surprise you. Yet, they’re always fully intending on buying another rabbit to use externally. You can thank ‘Sex and the City’ for the rise in popularity there (another blog in itself).


The Poly Family from How to build a sex room

Sex Room 6: The Poly Family

Need I say more? There was a lot of openness and willingness there, which I loved to see, so let's look at some of the toys. Most of the products here were, I guess, a bit more advanced. For example, the nipple clamps were monarch clamps, which are more weighted, for the more advanced clamper. I also spotted the classic NJoy Pure Wand and Le Wand Stainless Steel Swerve. The huge plus with these toys in a poly or group situation, is hygiene. Without running for the toy cleaner (washing, spraying, then rinsing) you can sterilise one of these toys simply by running it under hot water. These stainless steel toys are also perfect for temperature play and can be used anally and vaginally, which is fun for the whole group.


This group also got a Cowgirl - Premium Sex Machine which is a sophisticated plug and play toy. Not for beginners. Not fully shown were the variety of different attachments that can be used for different bodies and preferences that are easily removed for cleaning. 


In their closet, I spotted plenty of anal hooks, strap ons, and a We-Vibe Pivot Cock Ring, probably the easiest-to-clean cock ring that vibrates. But, on the top shelf was a detail I appreciated; Sliquid Naturals Sassy Water Based Lube. This is by far, the best water-based lubricant for anal play with toys, especially silicone ones. I felt that all the toys were great choices with the main toy criteria being easy to sterilise which was certainly catered for in this dynamic.

Meagan and Dave from How to build a sex room

Sex Room 7: Meagan & Dave


I dare say, not too memorable to me. This couple wanted a pretty simple setup; a sensual, fun outdoors eco-vibe with a focus on role play. Toy-wise it was a bit of a mix. I spotted the We-Vibe Vector, and either a We-Vibe Moxie or We-Vibe Sync, Intimate Earth Toy Cleaner and Sliquid Organic Lube Cube. So there was attention to detail there, but nothing overly giving, in the toy world. For role-playing the We-Vibe Moxie has a cute detail where it clips into the underwear magnetically and offers clitoral stimulation that could be controlled via remote or with the We-Vibe app. While they get a ‘pass’ in my book, this episode wasn’t entirely memorable on the toy front.

Brodie and Bettie from How to build a sex room

Sex Room 8: Brody & Bettie


To help explain the toys, I will mention that Brody is non-binary and Bettie is femme. This couple were wanting to explore BDSM, with only one having the experience and the other quite unsure. So this episode offered a great variation, and I hoped to see a great array of unique toys that respected the different gender identities they have. 


I did see a Fun Factory Share Vibe which is wonderful. This toy is great for people who have a vagina, who want to create a penetrative option for their partner who also has a vagina. I’m not ruling out those who want to use it for anal play, but it is a great vagina-to-vagina toy. The Gvibe3 was also present - an excellent all over body toy. As a runner up, we recommend the Volta by Fun Factory; a great toy for gender-diverse couples as it has been made for anybody in mind. 


They briefly spoke about a wearable vibrator, the Gordon prostate massager. While this toy is not available in Australia and is sold through Walmart in the US, the choice of this toy kinda made my heart sing. Thankfully a lot of prostate toy makers are finally realising something we have known for years – a “prostate toy” can be used by anyone with a prostate/perineum or moved next door for g-spot clitoral stimulation. So, this was a fabulous choice for a non-binary person, giving them options for how they want to use it. 


As an alternative to the Gordon, we have the Lelo Bruno, Svakom Vick Neo Prostate Massager, and the Cocktail – Rocks Off, to name a few. Lastly, this couple had some vibrating kegel balls; the Sweet Smile Vibrating Love Balls which seem to be a toy that no longer exists, but the idea was there. 


These balls, whilst offering great health benefits to the pelvic floor, are awesome toys to use while wearing a strap-on and harness if you have a vagina and want some stimulation while you’re penetrating. An alternative option to this toy in Australia is the We-Vibe Jive, and the vibrating b-Vibe Snug Plug. Yes, yes, it's an anal plug but remember what I said about interchanging toys. Pleasure is pleasure.

Ouima and Jessie from How to build a sex room

Sex Room 9: Ouima & Jessie


Without spoiling too much here, I'll jump straight into the toys. I saw none. Everything was out of focus and all I could kind of make out was a butt plug and a basic cock ring, they certainly missed out. And as a result, so did we.

Tricia and Gary from How to build a sex room

Sex Room 10: Tricia & Gary


This couple had had a little taste of the BDSM world, so they had a few different things appearing in their episode. Vampire gloves are a popular choice for those into sensory play that involves a little pain. Broad tip nipple clamps tend to be a good clamp for seasoned users. These clamps need more to grab onto and can apply a lot of pressure if desired. The gag supplied to this couple was a bit-gag. Compared to a ball gag, this design is more about bearing down for a bit of pain, rather than simply restraint. And finally, the flogger used in this episode was, thankfully, an appropriate size for the couple featured.


Throughout the series, I was often disappointed by the fact that the longest floggers were given to beginners; which is a big no-no. A miscalculated hit by a long flogger may wrap around the body, causing a large impact and hurting internal organs. Please, start small and build up your ability progressively.

Heather and Sarah from How to build a sex room

Sex Room 11: Heather & Sarah


This queer, lesbian couple were just looking for a more intimate space in their van. So I was hoping to see heaps of fun toys made for two cis-gendered women in mind. One of the women said she was a bit of a size-queen so a Large Tantus Dildo was featured. Well, at least I think it was. I couldn't find it on their website, but their champion dildo was the same size and colour featured. I noticed, with the couple’s strap-on, that whoever set it up even added a buffer to the dildo. Ahh, those details, why didn't they go into them?! 


Essentially, a buffer acts as a soft pad between your groin and the toy, so that things don't chafe and hurt during repeated impact. It was way too difficult to figure out which one they used, but I'll have a guess that it was by Sportsheets.


While a Lelo Massage Candle was also hidden in the back, I felt that this couple was let down in the toy department. I just hoped those cabinets held a treasure trove.

Lisa from How to build a sex room

Sex Room 12: Lisa


Ahh Lisa, the single queen who at the start of the episode says that she “doesn't need toys”. It's not about needing Lisa, it's about experimenting and wanting. I digress. 


Thankfully Lisa gets an excursion to a sex shop called Vanilla Kink – fitting. Once again, I spy an incredible selection of products in the background. 


We’re shown the Fun Factory Bi-Stronic Fusion, then the Fun Factory Miss Bi, which is certainly the more accessible and easier to use compared to the Stronic. For someone like Lisa, this is a good option as it is just a humble little grinder. 


The Womanizer Premium 2 gets another mention, then Lisa does us all a favour and points out the Starsi by Cute Little Fuckers. At which point I yelled out “yay” at the screen. But, the show fails us all, by not explaining this glorious toy. So I will. Starsi is a palm-sized toy, shaped like a starfish, where each end of the star vibrates differently. A bullet vibe slips inside the starfish cover, so the top is strong and the bottom end is more subtle. This can be used on anyone and anywhere, it was designed by a non-binary person with all body and needs in mind. If you like vibration on anybody's curves this is the toy for you. 


Once the room is revealed, I spot the We-Vibe Jive which, for someone into online dating, is a fun option if you want to explore some play by letting someone else control your toy. Then the Starsi, Miss Bi and Womanizer Premium 2 all appear as well as the Jackrabbit Vibe – which, let me say, is an acquired taste. Not everyone enjoys having their cervix poked and this toy is not forgiving in its approach. Proceed with caution and maybe try a strong g first. To finish the cabinet off, I’d spotted some Intimate Earth Strawberry Flavoured Lube, the Dame Aloe Lube and pink bondage tape.

How To Build A Sex Room Summary


Due to the lack of airtime each toy received, I found the show a little inaccessible for people who were interested in starting small. 


And, that’s the thing. 


Choosing the right sex toy for you isn’t about the biggest, strongest vibrators or dildos. It’s about starting with curiosity and wanting. Work your way through the sensations you’d like to experience, at your own pace. And if you ever want advice around the right toys, lubes, accessories – or floggers – please don’t hesitate to ask.