Sex After Cancer: Navigating Sexual Health and Intimacy Through Recovery.

Nausea, exhaustion and PTSD are all commonly reported experiences after you’ve completed cancer treatment. But, did you know that almost 60% of cancer survivors report some sexual dysfunction too? It’s nothing personal, but sometimes it feels like the Big C is here to claim your Big O, too!

While you’re in recovery mode it may take some time before you start feeling like you again. This is especially common in the bedroom. Even as a survivor, sexuality and cancer can be difficult to navigate, but there are plenty of ways you can make it easier on yourself and your partner(s) – and it all starts with a conversation.

Sexual Desire After a Cancer Diagnosis

Fact: Cancer will cock block your sexual desire and satisfaction.

Maintaining intimacy after a cancer diagnosis can be difficult. It’s not just the illness, crippling nausea, fatigue and pain that gets in the way, studies have shown that satisfaction with your own sex life can decrease, making it tricky to enjoy a flourishing sex life. But it can be achieved, by sitting down and having the conversation with your partner, health practitioner or even a close friend. Sure, it might take time, but it all begins with healing, checking-in and learning new pathways to navigate pleasure in your body.

What About Sex for Cancer Survivors?

Great news. You’ve been given the all clear and the physical symptoms of illness and treatment don’t haunt you anymore. The not so great news? Your sex life hasn’t bounced back thanks to a whole bunch of side affects both physical and emotional. But, you’re not alone.

Emotional barriers affect both cancer survivors and partners in unique ways. You may experience low desire (or reduced sex drive), vaginal dryness, erectile dysfunction, increased numbness or sensitivity, or simply struggle to reach orgasm during sex. But, consider this, you've both mentally been through a lot, and that's not something that instantly disappears. It’s common for both of you to experience nervousness around intimacy and sex, but it’s important to keep communication channels open through every stage in order to overcome these hurdles.

As a survivor, you might be worried about the physical changes you’ve experienced. Your body might look different, feel different and perform differently; but that’s perfectly normal and a common source of post-treatment anxiety for many survivors. Similarly, partners commonly worry about rushing-in, pressuring or even physically injuring cancer survivors. Again, these concerns need to be brought into the light, in order to be conquered. If you’re worried about how your partner will respond to your body, make it known. After all, you’re stronger when you face challenges together.

Prostate Cancer 

If you're a survivor of prostate cancer, you may experience some sexual function issues. Erectile dysfunction is a common problem and one that can be brought on due to a traumatic event, such as cancer. But, there are plenty of tools and techniques designed to help you overcome penile problems. The Penis Pump and Pulse are both effective at helping you get an erection, while Penis Rings, can help you keep it up.Find out more about these and other helpful tools in our blog.

Breast Cancer 

Breast cancer can be especially hard on your physical perception of self. If you've had one or both of your breasts removed or augmented due to treatment, you might struggle with your body image or simply feel uncomfortable being intimate with others. But, things like lingerie, massage and dedicated solo sessions can all gently bring you back into your body again. Read about these tips on our blog.

Chemotherapy, radiation and medication can also create a number of issues for vagina owners, such as the shortening of the vagina, sensation reduction, dryness and loss of desire.

There are a number of ways that survivors can recover and restore pleasure pathways post-treatment, including the use of lubricants, tantra, sex toys and – of course – therapy. The most important tool throughout your recovery?

Time.

Take things slow, and ease your way back into intimacy with yourself and others in the way(s) that feel comfortable for you. 

Communicate With Your Sexual Partner

One of the most important aspects of regaining your sexuality after cancer and getting back into the bedroom is communication. Good, honest, and open conversations between you and your sexual partner are a must. 

Not only does communicating your fears make them seem less scary (a problem shared is a problem halved!), but it also helps your partner to be conscious of them. They'll know to take things slow and go at your speed. Make sure you both know when to say stop if things get too much, as well.

You may find out that your partner has some worries, too. For example, they may not know what to do if there is an issue, such as vaginal dryness or erectile dysfunction. By talking about it first, you can create plans for these situations and deal with them together.

Sex after cancer relies on love, kindness, empathy, and trust. By communicating honestly, you enable these to be present in your bedroom.

Some Tips for Talking About Sexual Health After Cancer

Speaking to your partner about sex and your concerns can be a daunting task. Make sure you choose the right time when neither of you is busy so that you can sit down together and talk without distraction. It's best if you can sit face to face so that you can see each other and avoid any miscommunication that can happen over the phone.

Let them know that you want to talk about sex. You can set out your main concerns at the beginning of the conversation in a list format and then go deeper into each concern when you're ready to do so. You may want to talk through them without interruption — in which case, tell your partner before you begin — or to talk through them together.

Speak to a Therapist

If you're struggling with sex after cancer, there are plenty of professionals out there who can help you. A therapist can work through your emotional barriers, and provide you with the tools to navigate challenges in a healthy, productive manner. They can also further your understanding of why you feel the way that you do.

A therapist can help if you're:

• Feeling scared or anxious about sex
• Struggling with your body image
• Experiencing physical changes
• Unsure about how to talk to your partner about sex
• Feeling depressed about how cancer has affected your body and/or sex life
• Unsure whether you want to have sex again

Explore Our Sex Accessories and Toys for Inspiration

Being open and honest about your sexual health after surviving a serious illness isn't always easy. But, by keeping an open mind and working through your barriers with your partner, you can definitely still have a passionate, fulfilling sex life.