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Dear Michelle,
How do I know if my girlfriend really has an orgasm? She hates it when I ask but sometimes I feel like she’s faking it. Sam
100% she is. Along with about 80% of the female population who fake it during vaginal sex at least half the time. Let’s just sit with that for a bit.
Wait. There’s more. 25% of the women that are faking it half the time, are actually faking it 90% of the time!!!
On the bright side, I’m so glad that you’re suspicious because I reckon 99% of cis men reckon their partners are having an orgasm 100% of the time so you’ve got something going for you. Now it’s time to get real.
The truth is, nobody has to climax during sex. This whole 'end thing' has got to stop.
"It's true that all sexes feel pressure to reach climax during sex as it's seen to be the ultimate reward for 'doing a good job,'" Sienna Halliburton, the marketing manager at luxury sex toy company JeJoue has stated.
Sam. It's time to figure out why your girlfriend is faking it. And to those who do fake it - just stop it. Your partner is never going to figure out how to have great sex with you if you're lying about it.
Penetration typically doesn't last that long (about 5 minutes) and only about 25% of vulva owners climax from penetration alone. A good rule of thumb is to make sure your girlfriend is satiated before you are. Ask her to pleasure herself with you watching. Bring out the toys! We find that Air Pressure Toys are brilliant to use during sex. Surprise her by concentrating on her pleasure alone.
Or just forget about orgasms and try to feel pleasure, have fun and connect.
Much love and good vibes,
Michelle
xxx
Here's an interesting survey done by kinkly.com. According to them, most people who fake it identify as female and are with a long term partner. And if you're female, you fake it more when you're young but if you're male, you fake it more as you age.
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Esther S
Bravo Michelle! Loved your response, def make it more acceptable that sex is about pleasure overall, we’re not all trying for an end result, I know this puts way too much pressure on me for one when I can tell the guy is just looking for a response through orgasm. Not to mention those guys who think going down on the girl in the first instance and in a way ‘getting her over and done with’ so that he can focus on himself the rest of the time is any better. Def should be about enjoying the ride.
Norbert Coltsworth
I find your frank, informative and no nonsense answers very helpful and refreshing!
Thankyou for your insights and keep doing what you’re doing.
Thanks