Death Grip Syndrome: What It Is And How To Cure It

Do you believe in ghosts? What about Death Grip Syndrome?

This non-medical condition keeps penis owners up at night – and stops them from reaching orgasm during penetrative sex – haunting guys, girls, gays and ghouls alike. Spooky puns aside, this syndrome really sucks because it's relatively common and gives bedfellows a complex, and penis-owners a rough time climaxing.

If you jerk off using a death grip quite regularly (read: a rigid hold), you may find it more difficult to respond to more subtle sensations in future – say, those involved during penetrative sex. Plenty of penis-owners have anecdotally confirmed that this aggro masturbation-style has resulted in desensitisation over time; and disappointment when it comes to partnered sex. But, there's a way to overcome it all, my dextrous friends.

During the early ‘00s, sex columnist and LGBT community activist, Dan Savage, used the term Death Grip Syndrome in an episode of the Savage Love podcast to describe this frustrating condition. And while death grip isn’t medically diagnosed or even clinical, it’s backed up by some scientific research and a whole bunch of firsthand experiences. (For example, this study examines the effects of continual pressure of cycling on penile numbness and ED. Yet another reason why you won’t find me cycling anywhere, anytime soon.)

If cumming during your solo sessions is a breeze, but getting off with a partner is difficult, then you may be in death grip territory. The most common symptom of Death Grip Syndrome (or DGS) is struggling to orgasm or ejaculate to or with a softer source of stimulation; like a moist mouth, vagina or bussy (an affectionate term for the ass).

Now, for the symptoms you can’t see? Death grip can affect the dynamics of your intimate relationships, not to mention your pleasure practice and perception of self. Whether you or a lover is experiencing Death Grip Syndrome, this scenario can create tension, magnify insecurities and make it more difficult to connect; all valid reasons for countering death grip together.

Note: There are a whole bunch of other reasons why people with penises aren’t cumming, won’t cum or can’t cum (antidepressants are a whole thing). But we’ll save that chat for another time. We always recommend checking-in with your healthcare provider, if you are concerned about Death Grip Syndrome or other personal health topics.

Luckily, some things are more reversible than others. Right, Miles?

Heaps of ways! The good news is there are a bunch of techniques to help you train your penis (like a good aroused athlete) and recondition your body and your mind.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Easy tiger. Experiment with softer sensations like a looser grip or a more sporadic stroke. Maybe bring lube into the mix and only touch your penis to strike up an erection. Edging could bring you a whole new level of pleasure. How exciting.
Softly, softly.
Experiment with softer sensations like a looser grip or a more sporadic stroke. Or introduce arousing accoutrements into your life. Feathers, floggers, fur paddles, silk ties, satin or latex gloves are all glorious options.
Sensory deprivation
Stop it. No seriously. Quit it. But, only for a little while. Set yourself a challenge and don’t masturbate for a week. Don’t watch porn. Don’t play with yourself. (Boo!) Unless of course, you’re playing with others. (YES!) Better yet. Focus on their pleasure. Maybe even experiment with rope bondage?

Here are some toys designed to restore playtime and meet your myriad desires – some designed by world-champ wankers. Masanobu Sato, a director on the board of Japanese toy brand Tenga, was named a bonafide Masturbate-A-Thon champion in 2009, after rubbing-out a world record for the longest time spent masturbating. Nine hours and fifty-eight minutes, for those playing at home.

Reusable Air-Tech Tenga Cup: various sizes

Firm or squishy, this silicone sleeve is perfect for playing with yourself when adapting to softer textures. And it’s reusable for pleasure on repeat.

Pulse Solo Essential

Titillating and oscillating, the Pulse can be enjoyed as a toy that can stimulate an erection or for those who are unable to achieve erection at all. It fits all penises and can be used hands free. Ideal if your death grip is causing concerning.

Vector Prostate Stimulator by We-Vibe - App Controlled

This prostate massager comes with two motors which work together to stimulate the prostate and perineum, using rumbling vibrations and gentle pressure. Breathtaking.

Sam Neo 2: App-Controlled - Svakom

Suction and vibration? Say less. This masturbation sleeve can help counter death grip by giving your penis alternative sensations to savour. And, it's got app functionality which means you can customise patterns and modes to suit your pleasure.

While we aren't doctors, we are provocateurs. Please, always see a professional healthcare provider or ask your GP about anything out of the ordinary when it comes to erections, arousal, and ejaculation. It could be medication, mental-health related, or something else entirely. Your health is paramount. Death grip or not, please take care of yourself and that penis of yours.