There are so many reasons why sex might be painful or uncomfortable. It can be something that has always been experienced, from the first time you tried penetrative sex or it can develop over time. The first thing you can do is to see a physiotherapist who may diagnose you with vulvodynia (when the vulva is painful to touch) or vaginismus (when there is pain in the vagina).
At Passionfruit, we see lots of customers who have had these conditions and we have so many wonderful products that can impact positively on their health. Physiotherapists regularly send their patients to us for these products. Here are our top recommendations.
Whether painful sex is the result of vaginismus, menopause, age or medication, lubricant is your saviour. In fact we recommend it for EVERYONE because it makes sex feel SO MUCH BETTER. See our video here and all will be explained.
When the body and/or mind are tense, penetration can feel like hitting a brick wall. Massage is our number one recommendation as a way to relax the muscles and more importantly, open the heart to intimacy. Yoni Massage is a wonderful book that teaches techniques to heal and relax the vulva/vagina through intimate touch. Carol, our resident workshop fascilitator and tantric sex coach, offers vaginal and penis massage through her private practice. If your partner is willing, have them learn the art of massage. It is the most wonderful gift to bestow on others.
Dilators are recommended when penetration of the vagina is impossible or painful. They are a series of insertable toys that get gradually thicker that help to stretch the muscles and reinvigorate the soft tissue. Most of the medically recommended dilators are typically medical in look and feel so that the pleasure aspect is removed. We're all about helping you to find pleasure when rehabilitating so we recommend the Inspire Dilator Kit, which is beautiful to behold, soft in texture and smooth and warm to the touch. You can find all our dilators here.
4. SMALL VIBRATORS
A small vibrator is a great tool to help heal vulval, vaginal and pelvic pain. Vibration applied externally and internally will bring blood to the tissue, aid in tissue restoration and help with arousal. A vibrator allows you to experiment at your own pace. Our top recommendations for beginners are:-
A smooth and slender, budget friendly vibrator with a slow speed that is perfect to help relax the vaginal opening.
These two vibrators are the softest, squishiest toys on the market. Squeezing them feels like marshmallow! If you have vulval pain, these are the perfect toys to introduce to your body. Mikazuki is a tad more slender than Minamo.
Being only about as thick as a finger and a soft bendable tip, the Cici is a wonderful way to introduce a slim vibrator into your body for both pleasure and dilation.
Not a particularly traditional vibrator, the Vesper is a beautiful piece of jewellery as well as an external or internal vibrator. It's only as thick as a slim pencil so if your vagina is too painful for the smallest product, the Vesper is a great choice.
These ingenious stackable rings are stretched over the penis to help you manage and potentially reduce pain during sex by allowing you to easily customize how deep penetration goes.
Photo credit: Jenire Usategui