There's a common myth that goes something like "sex is natural" and "we should just know how to do it" but IT'S NOT TRUE!
As Esther Perel says, 'this myth has done harm to so many people because it presumes that we should just know rather than the fact that it is something that we learn to cultivate, to experience. It's an art. If you think it's natural you often remain ignorant."
On June 26th, sex educator, somatic sexologist and professional tantric teacher Carol Mikhael, is presenting her Tantra for Lovers Workshop here at Passionfruit and both Carol and us here at Passionfruit are constantly being quizzed about Tantra and its benefits.
So we asked Carol, "what are the three most common questions you receive about tantra?"
Over to you Carol...
1. What is Tantra?
Essentially Tantra is the practice of weaving the physical with the spiritual. In regards to relationships and sexuality, it is about inviting deeper connection and intimacy through the use of specialised Tantric practices. These practices are about opening the heart and allowing authentic connection to take place. It is the acknowledgement that when we enter the bedroom we not only bring our physical body but we bring with us our emotional and energetic body and all the experiences we have around intimacy, pleasure and healthy relating. Cultivating intimacy and emotional connection is the foundation to longer lasting and more fulfilling relationships and of course when we begin to introduce pleasure which is centred in sensuality and devotion we open ourselves up to receiving and giving greater pleasure.
2. What draws people to a Tantric workshop?
The main reasons why people may wish to attend a Tantric workshop is to improve and deepen their relationships. Some couples are looking to increase intimacy and communication with their partner and realise that by investing in their relationship, they only serve to strengthen their bond with each other. Partnerships do not look after themselves, they need attention and readjustments to survive and be sustainable. Some couples may want to come to a workshop because they have a desire to reconnect and rekindle passion. It is very normal for the fire in relationships to dwindle. The pressures of life, work and children can sometimes get in the way but the key is always to make time for each other. The beautiful thing about the Tantric practices is that they serve as a reminder of your commitment and love for each other.And lastly another reason why one may attend a workshop is simply to introduce something new in the bedroom. Pleasure is a spectrum and if you're a pleasure seeker you definitely want to be able to include in your lovers toolbox tools and techniques to not only romance the heart but tools to ignite your lovers soul and body bringing new heights of pleasure!
3. My lover is skeptical of anything spiritual or 'woo, woo,' how do I get them to see that trying something new is just what we need?
In most partnerships there is always someone who is curious and open to trying new things and there is always someone who is a little more resistant and reserved. After working with couples for over a decade I have seen this time and again. This is why I'm passionate about bringing a down to earth approach to Tantra and modernising it so that even the most skeptical person can enjoy the benefits of Tantra. Communication is key to healthy relationships which is something which is focused on in the workshops. Never be afraid of communicating your desires, especially if it enhances and improves your relationships!
Carol's workshop Tantra for Lovers is happening on Saturday June 26th 2021 at 6pm.