WEEK 6: MINDFULNESS + TANTRA
Practising mindfulness can give space to awareness, curiosity, acceptance and understanding. We hear all the time about how important mindfulness is for mental and physical wellbeing and now you can now add sex to the list. Being mindful not only helps you to hone in on the pleasure and sensations in your own body, it also makes you more aware of your partner’s experience.
Formal practices like Tantra can help to apply mindfulness to the body, which can lead to increased communication and enhanced sexual experiences. For many couples, mindful sexual experiences can help them feel connected in a transcendental way. This week the challenges are about using mindfulness to connect to your partner in a soulful and meaningful way.
Terms of endearment
Part of being mindful is finding ways to celebrate each other and your relationship. This challenge is about reflecting on each other and fostering your appreciation. Each day this week you will tell each other something that you appreciate about the other. You can exchange them verbally, through notes, or even through text. Make sure to respect each other’s offerings by giving them proper time and space.
One of the most useful activities for couples to exchange is the act of massage. Being able to give a good massage, whether therapeutic or sensual is an excellent way to foster relaxation, intimacy and sexual activity. For this exercise, give yourself time and space to research massage techniques. If you are already pros at massage, see if you can find some new techniques. You might know what your partner likes, but have a conversation to see what areas your partner would like to be massaged. The focus should not necessarily be sexual, but it is about exploring and manipulating the energy that comes from arousal. There are some excellent Tantric massages that can be useful to explore. Set an appropriate mood and make sure that you have proper massage oil. Decide how much time you will dedicate and get to work expressing intimacy through intentional touch. You can try swapping in the same session, but it may be better to concentrate on one person and then focus on the other person the next time.
Breathing is an important part of mindfulness. Being mindful of your breathing during intimate moments can help clear some of the distracting chatter that might be in your head. You can try focusing on your breathing before being intimate, as you feel your desire and arousal, or after sexual activity, as you share in your aftercare. Begin by synchronising your breathing. Breathe in and out together. Then try exchanging your breath, where one of you breathes in while the other breathes out, then switch. Be sure to make eye contact as you focus your breathing.