While we all like to think that we have learned a thing or two and developed a sense of sexual prowess, the thing is that sex is such a dynamic experience. Our techniques, tools and sexual scripts should be constantly examined to ensure that they are still relevant, particularly in long term relationships.
Perfect sexual functioning is a myth, so the techniques that we are focusing on here are more about developing sexual growth, flexibility and working together to improve sensual arousal, sexual quality and satisfaction.
This week is all about honing your techniques. We have provided some activities that cover the basics, but we encourage you to look at your sexual scripts and consider what ways you can improve in order to help you and your partner refine and craft more delicious sexual experiences.
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Kissing has been shown to produce all those magical romantic chemicals that increase intimacy and attachment, as well as enhance mood. In other words, kissing is yet another intimate activity that benefits your overall health and wellbeing.
This exercise will involve really focusing on how you physically communicate with your lips. Pick a time and space when you are able to explore each other thoroughly through kissing.
Can you have a conversation with your lips and tongue and any other parts you want to involve in the kiss?
In this case, practise will make perfect. Additionally, kissing provides an opportunity to hone your skills for other activities like kissing your partner’s body or even performing oral sex.
The Sex Gym
One of the easiest ways to improve your sexual performance and techniques is to get sex fit. There are many different types of activities that will give you the strength and endurance to assist in your ability to sexercise.
Start by doing cardio to increase your aerobic capacity. Exercise classes that involve a lot of kicking and leg work can really stoke and power up the areas related to sexual activity. Strong arms and legs can help with positioning. Core exercises such as planks are important, as well as exercises that strengthen the pelvic and hip region like squats. Yoga moves like cat and cow position can help to stretch all the relevant muscles. And don’t forget to do those Kegels!
For added intimacy, try planning a routine that can be done with your partner. Take note of any improvements to your sexual activities and stamina. Keep in mind that we all have different bodies and abilities, the important thing is to build up those areas that work for your body.
In relationships often the most important part of sex is not the desire, arousal, and orgasm. Rather It is in the intimacy and relaxation that comes in the aftermath of the experience.
Aftercare is different for each couple, but it should be a safe and intimate space. There might be gentle touching, cuddling, kissing, chit chat, showering together, or even making a cup of tea together. It should be a time that you get to just breathe together and enjoy the peace and harmony that comes from the aftermath of sexual activity.
It is a good idea to discuss how you would like to be treated in aftercare prior to sex, or at a completely different time to the sex, so that you can make sure that you both get what you need to feel intimate, connected, safe and supported.