This is the dilemma of our most secret desire being voiced at a potential cost to our relationship. Will we be rejected? Shamed? Laughed at? While the dom/sub scenario might be de rigueur these days, asking ‘mummy’ to tell you you’re a ‘good boy’ is a bit more curly.

In the BDSM roleplay world however, using the words ‘mummy’ or ‘daddy’ in a sexual context is common. It’s not related to pedophilia or incest in any way, so let’s get that clear right from the get-go. This dynamic resides primarily within the usual sub/dom relationship with the emotions and experiences from childhood woven into it. It therefore adds another level of complexity and negotiation.



It helps to think about exactly why you want to pursue this ‘mummy dom role’ Sydney. Is it just to spice things up a bit? Or is it to fulfill a deeper need you may have to feel valued? The first place to start the conversation could be a chat over dinner. Explain how going from the dominant to the submissive role has made you think a lot more about your upbringing. That could segue nicely into the fact that seeing as how much it turns you on to call her mummy in the bedroom, it might be interesting to see how it goes outside of the bedroom.

Your partner already knows you like “good boy encouragement” and has incorporated it into her roleplay. Yay! Now the discussion to have is how much “mummy” there will be in your day to day relationship. You could request that next time you cook dinner / wash her car / iron her clothes that you be given the “good boy encouragement” then too. She may love the sense of empowerment it gives her or it may make her uncomfortable or even trigger unwanted emotions.



You could suggest attending an event such as KinkFest or a BDSM workshop where the nuances of switching are explored and you can experiment with fun role play scenarios. There are so many considerations that might not be obvious at first but will evolve over time. Taking on the mummy role can have extra responsibilities too that will need to be negotiated. Commonly, a mummy may punish their ‘littles’ in various ways, such as by spanking when the task isn’t performed correctly, or praising and cuddling when it is.



If the mummy dynamic is not on for your partner or is only comfortable in the bedroom then so be it, that’s where it will have to stay. Consent is the bedrock of any healthy sexual relationship. Understanding that this is something you require will inevitably generate a deeper understanding of yourself and that is always a win-win. 


Good boy Sydney.