Fingerwork: How to use your fingers

Ever experienced a performance so good, that you were practically gagging for an encore? This article is all about how you too can use your fabulous fingerwork to prompt a standing o-vation – with a capital 'O'. And, no, we aren't talking about playing the bagpipes.

We're talking about fingering: penetrative play where the fingers are used to bring your lover pleasure – and if you're really good, to climax. Possibly the most underrated sexual act there is, we reckon fingering deserves a lot more love, because when performed well, it can be bloody breathtaking.

Editor's note: While most of this article discusses vulvas and vaginas, this technique can also be adapted for more pleasurable anal play. So, feel free to apply these tips to best suit your hardware.

Why fingering?

Obviously, sex isn't just about penises in vaginas. There's a whole world of titillating pleasure potential out there, without any formal rules around which acts should precede others. (With the exception of consent, which precedes everything.)

Fingering can be the main course, rather than just an appetiser. Hell, fingering can be a Michelin-star five-course meal for someone who might otherwise experience discomfort or pain from penises and other, larger penetrative objects. 

Here are some things to consider before plunging your digits into any soft, squishy, sensitive spaces.

Hygiene: Make sure your hands are clean, yeah?

Washing your hands with a nail brush is primo, but even hot, soapy water will suffice. Not just for bacterial reasons, but also to avoid giving your partner the 'ick'.

Personal grooming: Consider filing your nails down.

Trimming your fingernails with nail clippers is okay, but sometimes the edges left behind can be something of a hazard. 

This is even more important if you work with your hands. Having weathered, rugged hands can seem sexy to some, but no one wants their delicate areas irritated. If you're unsure, try running your hands over your face. If you feel any particularly rough areas (especially around the nails), you may way to consider using a gritty soap or pumice stone to exfoliate those edges. Being thoughtful is sexy. 

Nails: Horny, but sometimes impractical.

Red hot, pastel pink, jet black and coffin-shaped: we love a manicure. But, these nails aren't always practical when it comes to penetration. If you insist on having long nails, glove up beforehand and stuff a cotton ball underneath your nails before doing the deed.

Communication: Listen to your partner.

Everybody's different. Your partner may only communicate in a series of moans and grunts. Others may be more vocal. It helps to check in regularly and respond accordingly. Here are some prompts:

• Would you like me to go further?
• Want me to move faster/slower?
• Do you like it when I do this?
• How do you like this? 

1. GO SLOW

A slow build is the way to go, especially for vulva owners. Most of us need time to experience maximum pleasure. Sometimes it takes an hour to orgasm and sometimes there's no climax. As long as it's pleasurable, you're doing a great job.

2. PRESSURE THROUGH CLOTHES

Just writing about this is giving me chills. Some sensations are positively orgasmic when they're restrained. For example, a lover grazing their fingers over the top of your underwear. Breathtaking.
Applying pressure through clothes is a great way to apply your 'slow build' philosophy. For example: Instead of simply 'diving in', consider cupping your hand over the vulva and applying a gentle pressure like you're giving a massage. Then, using your middle finger, begin gently pressing into the vagina while swirling your thumb or finger over the clitoris. 

3. GET WET

Pleasure escalates with lubrication, but lubrication doesn't always match pleasure. For many reasons (e.g. environment, medication, hormones, health, desire, etc.), not all vaginas will lubricate upon stimulation. And there's absolutely no shame in inviting a little lube into your pleasure practice.

So, if the vagina isn't lubricating by itself, consider adding a little lube or using your mouth. Together, tongues and fingers make an awe-inspiring combo, so try using your tongue on the clit while your finger or thumb is teasing the vulva.

4. ADD AN EXTRA FINGER

Please, please, check in with your partner to make sure they're into it. When they're warmed up and responding well, you may consider slipping in an extra finger. This can add some extra pressure, a feeling of fullness, or additional sensations for those craving more. 

5. GO FOR THE G-SPOT

It's real and really fucking powerful. The G-Spot can often be found about an inch or so from the vaginal opening, towards the bellybutton. It has a slightly spongey texture and responds to applied pressure and a continued rhythm. When you stimulate the G-spot, your partner may notice a different sensation – something deep like the swelling of a wave. Respond to your partner when stimulating this spot, as consistency is usually key to climax.

6. THE CLIT

If your finger is inside the vagina, use a thumb or tongue to pleasure the clit. It really doesn't like being left out. For many people, this is THE BOMB. 

The clitoris is much larger organ than it appears to be, most of which sits underneath and around what's visible. This means that stimulation of the nerves around the vulva can also contribute to/cooperate with clitoral pleasure. 

7. NIPPLES

Nipples have direct pleasure pathways to the genitals, so consider using your free hand to show some loving to the breasts and nipples. Or lovingly suck and lick while your fingers are working down below. Deep kissing and eye gazing can also be very hot while you're fingering your lover.

8. RHYTHM

If you see that your partner is approaching the point of climax, don't change your rhythm – don't try anything new. Simply stick with it!

9. ADD A SEX TOY

Two words. Life changing. With your fingers massaging that G-spot and a vibe on the clit, you're on your way to the Fingerbang Hall of Fame. Or, alternatively you might want to to using an internal vibe or dildo to finish them off. Yeah, baby!

10. LET THEM GUIDE THE WAY

Okay, let's say your partner is getting frustrated or isn't responding to what you're doing. Please don't be discouraged, my friends. 

Use this as an opportunity to learn what pleases them and let them lead by example. Let 'em lose themselves in the moment and show you how it's done; better yet, get them to guide your hands the way they want them. Not only will this show them that you're a lover who listens, it lets them know how much it turns you on to watch them.