Not many people know what or where a frenulum is on a penis, let alone how to go about giving a frenulum massage.

So where is it? What is it? And if one has a frenulum, would one want it massaged? If so, how?

So many frenulum questions young grasshopper!

Well your all your frenulum questions are answered.

Where is the frenulum?

The frenulum is a pleasure sweet spot on the underside of the penis tucked in between the glans and the shaft. It can often be very sensitive due to the concentration of nerve endings. In fact, you could even say that the frenulum is to the penis what the clitoris is to the vulva.

Like a clitoris, every penis is different. It can be very sensitive or take a while for the sensations to build. It is a prime spot to add to your pleasure map as massaging and stimulating the frenulum can create intense orgasms and pleasure for penis owners. 


What is frenulum massage?

Sexual massage is not just a form of foreplay. It can be a powerful act of intimacy and sex. While Tantric-based yoni and lingam massages are an excellent way to learn specific techniques, you do not have to be a Tantric master to touch your partner in a pleasurable way. 

When manually massaging the genitals, it is important to be slow, considered, and responsive to the person receiving the massage. They are in a vulnerable position, so it is not unusual for them to feel uncomfortable or have an emotional response. Sometimes even the person giving the massage may become emotional. Consent becomes essential here. Both the giver and receiver of the massage should be prepared for a potentially intense and loooooong experience.

Discuss how you would like to communicate during the frenulum massage. Is the person receiving the frenulum massage allowed to say 'faster' or 'harder', or do they just submit to the other person's intentions? You might consider setting a time limit or taking breaks when needed. Focusing on pleasure and taking away the pressure of achieving an orgasm might also be helpful. Either way, it will still be a happy ending!

For frenulum massages, the penis owner may need to be encouraged to relax and be patient. They might feel focused on having an orgasm, worried that the experience is taking too long, or unsure how to communicate what kind of stimulation feels best. So, yes. It is an excellent way for a penis owner to experience what it is like to have a clitoris. While penis owners may be more familiar with manual, full-penis stimulation, stimulating the frenulum results in very targeted sensations. There will be some very pleasurable feelings, but it might take a while to get used to them. It can also be difficult for some to relax and receive pleasure. The good news is that frenulum massage can be done solo or with a partner, so there are many opportunities to practice.


Preparing for a frenulum massage

Once consent, expectations and boundaries have been communicated, it is time to create the experience. The first step is to set the scene. There is not a specific formula to set a magical scene. It can be as simple as using a pillow under the head or as lavish as lighting candles, burning oils and playing relaxing music. The elements you create should be a unique reflection of you and your partner. The important thing is having a safe and comforting place for intimacy to occur. One way to come up with ideas is to activate each of your senses. You can go with soft lights and sensuous colours for visual effects. Or, as the masseuse, you might dress in lingerie so that you become the visual effect. For sound, you might consider putting on music that you both enjoy, or you can focus on the sound of each other breathing. This can be particularly helpful in identifying which massage techniques are more effective than others. For aromas, you can use oils, candles, or greenery to create pleasant smells, or you can relish in each other's natural odours. During sexual activity, the body produces many different types of scents. You might even be able to learn what stage of arousal your partner is at just by the smell. Tapping into the sense of taste might require a bit of creativity. Still, you can add lusciousness to the experience by sharing juicy, rich fruit or chocolate before or after the massage. Finally, there is the sense of touch. While the focus of touch will be the massage, you can also consider what textures the person receiving the massage might lay on or incorporate different textures into your massage. 


Once you have set the scene, it is time to commence the massage. Some things to have on hand can include: 

  • Cushions, in case extra support is needed for the person giving or receiving the massage. 
  • Gentle massage oil or good quality lube 
  • Towels (just in case)
  • Texture-based and/or vibrating sex toys
  • Patience and gentleness


How do I give a frenulum massage?

Remember, the massage can be a relaxing, sensual and meditative experience for both the giver and the receiver. Before using the massage oil or lube, start the massage by gently holding the penis and locating the frenulum. Start to delicately stroke using the tips of your fingers. Ask the receiver to give you feedback on the pressure and sensitivity. The receiver's penis may be soft, fully erect, or vary between the two states during the massage. While erection and orgasm are certainly possible, the intention here is to focus on providing a pleasurable massage without the expectation (and pressure!) of a particular outcome. 

When you're both ready, try enhancing the sensation by using massage oil or lube. Apply the lube by rolling the frenulum between your fingers. Remember to start with light pressure and gradually increase according to the receiver's preferences. Be prepared to stop or pause if your partner asks you to. Concentrate on making fine movements. Trace circular shapes with your fingertips, lightly roll your finger along the frenulum. Try tickling the spot, using your knuckle to add a bit more intensity, or simply hold it and apply pressure. You may also like to progress to using your lips and tongue to gently suck the frenulum. While you can massage other areas such as the shaft or tip of the penis, this exercise is primarily about building sensations in the frenulum, so hold off for as long as you can before adding other areas. The final stimulation stage involves adding vibration or using a vacuum sucking device. As this is the most intense sensation, it is best to work your way up to it. There are even many toys specially designed for frenulum stimulation. We have compiled some delightful products to help inspire you. Try using different intensities and vibrational patterns. You can also hold the vibrator against your hand as you continue to massage the frenulum using your fingers.  

When you're ready to end the experience, make sure to allow some time for aftercare. 

Enjoy your frenulum journey! Feel free to drop us a line and tell us how you went.