When Rachel Krantz met and fell for Jacob, he told her that he was looking to make a commitment-one that did not include exclusivity. Both anxious and excited at the prospect of a different way to commit, Krantz entered a relationship built equally on love and liberation. And as an inveterate journalist and writer of extraordinary perceptiveness and emotional nuance, she not only put her heart on the line, but kept painstakingly detailed notes, interviewed other couples, and relentlessly interrogated her own emotions as she went down the rabbit hole of non-monogamy.
What results is a unique combination of memoir and immersion journalism that reads like sexy, page-turning fiction and casts an unflinching eye on non-monogamy, from the debilitating jealousy and anxiety spirals to the heart-opening connections and exhilarating eroticism.
As she and Jacob attempt to rewrite the way love works, she runs up against power and gender dynamics either written by biology or ingrained by culture, and must repeatedly face the question, is Jacob her liberator or her manipulator?
Krantz fearlessly takes us inside both her interior and intimate moments as she also interviews experts and tells the stories of other couples who have created a range of relationship styles to fit their desires.
Non-monogamy is the way into universal questions about love and happiness, which Krantz confronts with probing analysis and incredible candor: Can a person have both freedom and love? How do we reconcile closeness and lust? How can men and women achieve equality in relationships? What does it mean to trust someone? Can you love without jealousy?
And, ultimately, is the pleasure worth the pain?