Welcome back to a series most spooky: an unsettling scroll featuring disappearing toys, troublesome goo, and the trials of using the wrong lubricant.
At the dreaded hour of midnight, a plague of evil did creep across the land and blight it. The trees lost their foliage, the flowers languished and died, a vibrator did get stuck up my bum hole.
Image: X-ray of a pelvis with a vibrator lodged inside, as well as a pair of tongs used to try to pull it out.
Tonight, the glorious moon had risen to its zenith, signalling the opening of the crypt of my greatest adventure. Believing I had prepared my wondrous shrine most faithfully, I ventured forth with too much fervour. And from there all manner of mayhem did ensue.
It’s a grave tale to be sure, yet I tell it as a caution:
When planning anal adventures, always ensure your toy has a flared base, lest it fly up your butthole. Sphincters are reknowned for their vacuum-like suction powers.
Forgive my night’s excursion into the macabre and a retrieval ceremony most dire. I trust I haven’t frightened you away. Welcome to Kinky Nightmares Volume 2.
With thanks to the dark lord Vincent Price for his inspiration.
Feature image credit: Radiopaedia.
