It’s the season of love, the city is covered in hearts, couples are planning their Valentine’s dates and singles are coming up with reasons not to care about it. But, why reject the festivities? Because we believe in self-love above all, we’ve proposed four ways to indulge in solo dates for the season. And to make things a little interesting, we’ve paired each solo date with personas from a certain iconic millennial romcom. You’re such a Samantha.
Solo date #1: Explore every way ‘self love’ can be achieved, literally.
Perhaps you consider yourself a well-travelled sex-pert. Someone who knows sexual gratification almost as well as they know all six seasons of Sex And The City. Expensive, not necessarily in assets but in mindset, and always with a nugget of wisdom to share. If this resonates, you might prefer the company of a Touch X on your solo date, and agree that, “This thing has saved me from texting so many crusty men and finds my clitoris faster than half of them!” A night with you enters the top 10 experiences of any man, and most women, you meet. Why wouldn’t you save some of that glory for yourself? After all, you can think of countless positions to use your toys in and you’re determined to discover every way “self-love” can be achieved, literally.
Solo date #2: Protect your peace with romantic rituals.
Perhaps you’ve just survived yet another situationship and your libido’s shot into the depths of hell (until the next fine thing that comes your way). The rueful romantic, you wonder, What ever happened to just loving your body?! Why is everything about sex?! And while you haven’t lost hope, you’re just a little fed up. Burnt out, even. You love running yourself a bath, pouring in as many aromatics as possible (perhaps, Bruxa’s Body Oil of Winter), soaking until your fingers are wrinkled and you can’t remember who texted you that day. You’re very dedicated to keeping this latest romantic interest blocked and out of your mind. And we’re right there with you, stressing the importance of somatic rituals and turning your phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’. Keep those anxious thoughts out and protect your peace! The romantic in you may be regretful now, but it’s nothing a face mask can’t fix.
Solo Date #3: Become your very own voyeur.
Consider yourself something of a shy showman? You know, someone still finding their feet within the world of sex and arousal. The toys, the plugs and the clamps may pique your curiosity but you aren’t ready to be overwhelmed. Perhaps you too, in a drunken stupor, have blurted out, “I WEAR LINGERIE!” only to be met with chuckling iterations of, “Of course you do babe, we all do.” It isn’t a crime to wear lingerie, even if you’re convinced otherwise. Even if it’s simply a Nocturne Slip under your everyday clothes. Even if there’s nothing sexual planned at all. In fact, sometimes the last thing you want is sex! Like your body, solo rituals can be as private or public as you want. Fun, powerful and sexy, it’s like you’re in on a little secret, and the fact that no one else knows is exactly what makes it exciting. Consider yourself a champion for first-timers, an icon who dares to wear the costume until it becomes the clothes.
Solo Date #4: Take yourself out for an intimate interlude.
You might think you don’t do anything solo, let alone intentional. Perhaps your body feels more like a foreign land, only relevant with a lover’s touch? Perhaps you too, have been turned every which way and are hanging on by a thread. We hear you. We feel you. We are you. Times are tough, during which we recommend taking it back to basics. Sometimes the best solo-date is sitting in a café and working on a passion project while people-watching for a few hours. Sometimes the best solo-date is a perfect replica of a regular date, just with yourself and a book. (Might we suggest, ‘Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous’?) Isolation is not a pre-requisite for the comfort of solitude; sometimes the most profound love for self hits you while standing in the middle of a crowd.
Maybe we all ought to do solo-dates more often. Maybe the solo-date is less about what you literally do and more about the intention behind it. So long as it’s a practice that is for you, by you, maybe you’re on the right track. After all, “The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the ‘you’ that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.” – Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and The City
