"But what if there's... MESS!"
1. Shit happens! Normalise, clean up, move on.
Everyone poops. It's a glorious unifying human trait. So if upon pull out you notice any stains, help your partner feel normal. "Darling, I saw you give birth to our children, I've seen it all, this is nothing." Then straight to the bathroom, have a shower, return and converse. Sex is messy. But a clean conversation where you address any shame or discomfort will help you both return to baseline erotic again.
2. Have clean-up gear on hand.
Quite literally, on hand. Get some latex gloves, black are best so stains are not 'in your face' obvious if they occur. (we are giving away free black latex gloves this week with any Arsenal purchase)
3. Shower beforehand - or for your first time, do it in the shower! (with silicone lube)
Especially if you intend to partake in a bit of cheeky glorious rimming (rimming: the licking of the outside of the anal opening for sexual satisfaction). You do not want bacteria from the anus in any other holes. The shower can make for the perfect first time anal play session, any fear of mess is washed away, so to speak. Just make sure there is silicone lubricant on hand as water will wash away water-based lube.
Some people like to use an enema but frequent use isn’t recommended, as the healthy bacteria can be eliminated too. You can have very safe and satisfying anal experiences without using an enema.
5. Timing your anal activity
You don’t want to be close to your next bowel motion or going at it immediately after your morning coffee! The best timed anal is shortly after you have dropped timber. Plus, a high fibre diet equals better bowel movements and health. That is one orgasmic nudge towards the salad section.
6. Clean up between activities
Bacteria from the bum shouldn’t be in contact with the vagina so don’t move from anal sex to vaginal sex without cleaning up in between. Make sure you put on a new condom if you are going to swap. Even if you don't use barrier methods with your partner, using condoms for anal sex helps make clean up quicker. The same rule applies for fingers and toys.
7. **BONUS SAFTEY TIP** Flared. Based. Toys. Only!
Otherwise there is the possibility that the toy will be ‘sucked up’ into the rectum and ER is your only option. Apparently shampoo bottles are the most common objects retrieved from the arse. Other things include candles, vegetables, the 'wrong' sex toys and toothbrushes.
Mr Hanky The Christmas Poo - South Park - Just for fun.
Sign up to our newsletter to stay on top of blog posts, cat gifs and events! (mostly cats)