Dabble in a fair amount of rope bondage? Or perhaps you consider yourself more of a shibari amateur? Regardless of where you sit on the BDSM spectrum, workshops like Knots of Intimacy with Elisa (she/her ) of Peer Rope Melbourne and Intimate Horizons offer just what you need to delve deeper into this historic practice. We spoke with the relationship counsellor, sex educator and workshop facilitator to better understand what to expect from this intimate session.


Passionfruit: Elisa, thank you for taking the time to chat with us. Before we dive in, please introduce yourself to our readers.

Elisa: My name is Elisa, and I work full-time as a sex educator and relationship counsellor. While I have many different passions, personally, my deepest passion is empowering people around intimacy and consent education, and exploring the connection between psychology, kink and human relationships. My workshops are very science based.


P: How would you describe your relationship within kink and BDSM more broadly?

E: It’s definitely very different to how it was almost 14-years ago, when I first started. BDSM was so new to me, and I had no idea about what it was before actively learning about it. I was very curious and wanted to explore as much as I could.

In 2012, I got into a sex positive festival, coming from Berlin to Rome, Italy. Over three days, many doors opened for me, from non-monogamous relationships to the first time I tried using a flogger, shibari, and many other practices. From there, I was able to get in contact with people teaching some of these practices. Most of them were from Berlin at the time, and so I was lucky to fly every few months to join workshops similar to what I teach now.


After learning as much as I could over there, I did a few trips to San Francisco where I learned so much about consent culture and open relationships. This has been a huge part of my life, influencing my teaching style and evolving into my job. I’ve worked for almost eight years as a professional dominatrix, both before in Italy, where I’m originally from, and here in Australia.


Everything kind of changed during Covid. While I was already teaching some fun, kink and tantra workshops, they quickly became my main focus during Covid. In 2021, I finished my Diploma of Counselling, bringing my two worlds together. So with this sphere of sexual and consent education, I began working with couples to help them understand more about what their needs are, what desire is, and how to implement both in a way that’s safer and real.


P: What are some of the common misconceptions you’ve encountered around BDSM?


E:I think pornography has had a huge impact on the way that people see sexual practices. So I’ve enjoyed being able to help people see what things can actually look like; giving them a sense that things can look different and be modified based on what we want and need.


I feel like there are also many misconceptions around BDSM, violence and harm; this idea that whoever is into these practices probably has mental issues to work on. When really, most of the time, those who engage in these practices are people who have worked so much on themselves before initiating anything with others. With good BDSM practice, there’s so much self awareness, trust, respect and communication; about your boundaries, respecting limits, knowing what you want, and what you are able to give or receive. 

P: Please tell us about your rope bondage workshop, Knots of Intimacy and how it differs from your regular offering through Peer Rope Melbourne.


E: At Peer Rope Melbourne, we offer a range of courses designed for different levels of experience, usually in four-week blocks. But we also know that not everyone wants to dive straight into a full course – sometimes you’re just curious about what shibari feels like, or you’d like to try it in a relaxed and welcoming setting. 


That’s where  Knots of Intimacy comes in. It’s an introductory class open to anyone – you don’t need to be in a couple or bring a partner, and you’re very welcome to come on your own. We always begin with a discussion about consent and what kinds of questions are really important to ask before starting. We talk about different types of rope, terminology, and the history of shibari. Then, we learn different types of ties. The first few ties that we learn can be done on yourself then, if they’re comfortable with pairing up, students can begin to work on each other starting with those consent-driven questions.

P: Do you find that students often discover new things about themselves during the classes – perhaps they enjoy being tied up more than rigging?


E: Absolutely, especially with couples. If they’ve been together for a long time, there’s often this idea that one of them is going to be the person who is always tied up. And I say, feel free to swap and try both sides, because both sides have challenges and you’ll learn that both can be really fun – it's a really good way to learn more about yourself. I think it’s the perfect workshop for dipping your toe into the world of shibari, to see if it’s something you’re interested in before getting into a full course.

P: What do you think are the most profound discoveries students make in these classes?

E: In my experience pro-domming, bondage can give you this deep sense of grounding and presence. For some, 20 minutes of rope suspension can feel like an hour and a half of massage in terms of mental and physical feelings. Some people experience an emotional release, and having that surrender of control, when it's done consensually of course, can create a profound relaxation that allows people to go deeper into their own mind.


Often people are surprised by the emotional intensity that can arise – anything from tears to laughter. These reactions aren’t necessarily signs of pain or suffering; more often, they’re a release, a way for the body and mind to let go of something held deep inside. Through these practices, many students discover a stronger sense of confidence and a deeper awareness of their own needs, boundaries, and emotions. BDSM can also support people in moving past blockages, particularly in relation to intimacy and sexuality, by providing safe, structured experiences of vulnerability and trust.


That said, I don’t see BDSM as a first step in addressing deep trauma. Rather, it can be a valuable complementary tool alongside long-term healing processes – such as counselling, therapy, or other forms of self-development – once someone already has support in place. In that context, it can become a powerful way of reconnecting with the body, exploring empowerment, and reinforcing progress made in therapy.


Ready to explore the ancient practice of rope bondage? Check out our  upcoming workshops facilitated by Elisa (  Peer Rope Melbourne and  Intimate Horizons ).